I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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