I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
