you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
