she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
