i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
