Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
