i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize