I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
