I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
