So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
