is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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