if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
