Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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