I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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