Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
