id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
