People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
