Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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