Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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