talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
