I'm really into asian looking animals
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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