Betty ford says i'm here all night
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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