No awkward lesbian experiences without me
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
