there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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