I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
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