If i could tip my vagina, i would.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
