so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
