you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
