I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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