Swine flu. Run for my life!
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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