Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
