he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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