so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
