Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
