I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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