I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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