Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
