I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
