are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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