your thong is hanging out like whoa
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
