i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
