Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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