It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
