doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
