Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
