No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
