he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
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