im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
