don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
