You really coming over, don't trick.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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