I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
