we're blogging at a bar
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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