Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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