Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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